i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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