she peed on how many people?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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