I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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