i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
