So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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