Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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