I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
