all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
