if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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