I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
