That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
