Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
