This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
two words...techno handjob
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
