okay pat passed out under dana's car
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize