Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
