What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
