he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
