You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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