i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
