PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
