You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
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I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
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Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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