i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
