whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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