We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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