Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
