it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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