My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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