Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
a search helicopter?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
