Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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