they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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