One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize