Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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