I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
