we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
