At least make sure they are 18
Why
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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