would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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