WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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