i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
