i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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