I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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