escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
