I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize