She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Drunk is a universal language darling
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