"it" just moved
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
