Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
