Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize