How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
