You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
