Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think my fart just growled at me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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