i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
