She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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