If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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