im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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