But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Of course I have a pirate flag
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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