I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize