i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
