when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
