i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
