Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I feel like death. Did you die last night?

(305): View more from Florida

Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!

(859): View more from Kentucky

unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus

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(859): I feel like death. Did you die last night? (305): Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta! (859): unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus http://tfl.nu/lgid

Replies (8) Good night (1972) Bad night (460)
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(480): View more from Arizona

Lets date for the summer

(815): View more from Illinois

what?

(480): View more from Arizona

Dont love me in September.

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(480): Lets date for the summer (815): what? (480): Dont love me in September. http://tfl.nu/x30e

Replies (8) Good night (2061) Bad night (611)
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(317): View more from Indiana

and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.

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(317): and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka. http://tfl.nu/vpiu

Replies (10) Good night (4502) Bad night (508) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.

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(631): It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself. http://tfl.nu/t99x

Replies (16) Good night (3414) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink

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(410): when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink http://tfl.nu/mfes

Replies (14) Good night (1110) Bad night (3961) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.

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(402): I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song. http://tfl.nu/3qmr

Replies (15) Good night (5930) Bad night (1052) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.

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(913): his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/i0an

Replies (21) Good night (916) Bad night (7872) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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(217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy

Replies (13) Good night (6328) Bad night (1264) Order T-Shirt
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(252): View more from North Carolina

it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet

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(252): it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet http://tfl.nu/si54

Replies (6) Good night (2062) Bad night (1219) Order T-Shirt
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(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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(620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7

Replies (16) Good night (3908) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.

(404): View more from Georgia

Everyone is cheering

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(404): Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire. (404): Everyone is cheering http://tfl.nu/wh9k

Replies (4) Good night (1867) Bad night (551)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W

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(603): Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W http://tfl.nu/om4e

Replies (3) Good night (443) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives

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(508): Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives http://tfl.nu/526e

Replies (5) Good night (207) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..

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(604): I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them.. http://tfl.nu/ddtu

Replies (2) Good night (206) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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(970): View more from Colorado

I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.

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(970): I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot. http://tfl.nu/spo7

Replies (0) Good night (387) Bad night (146)

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