Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
