Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
