its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I need a beard to bite.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
