you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
